A Dinner with Three People
Callum McBride

I am going to give it to you in order, like I was going to have dinner with these three peeps on three consecutive nights. So let's just say the first dinner would be on... oh I don't know... let's go with April 27, the most evil day of the year, or what I like to call... EVIL DAY! So anyways, on this most evil of days I would start out with dinner with the one, the only, ADOLF HITLER. I know what you are thinking, you are thinking, I want a corn dog, AND, why would he want to have dinner with the most hated man in all of the world (up for debate)? Well here is the reason, well I guess I would say the reasons, for they are two fold. One, he was able to captivate millions of Germans for hours as he gave his speeches. This may of course be because if they were not captivated they would have had their top forcibly popped, but I also think that he was simply a great speaker able to entertain millions simply by speaking. He also managed to convince those very same millions of people that the best course of action was to annihilate millions of people. The second fold of my reasoning is this: in my mind at present I am of the belief that what Hitler did is absolutely disgraceful and could never be excused. It is, in my mind the most grotesque action in recent history, or possibly ever. What I would be interested in is having the man, Hitler himself, try to convince me that it was the right thing to do. At this point I would say that it would be impossible and I would like to believe that whatever he said I would still find him to be a disgusting power hungry little man who needs to make up his mind with respect to his moustache, I mean come on, have one or shave it off, just do something, that thing doesn't help his case. Anyways, like I was saying, I don't think that he would be able to convince me that he did the right thing, but he did manage to convince those millions of Germans that it was a good thing so really anything is possible. A possible third reason for have Hitler for dinner is that after he unsuccessfully tries to convince me of his good deeds I can kick him were the sun don't shine, yup, his shins (I have never seen him wear shorts) and then use the classic line "Don't let the door hit you on your way out." HYYYYYYY-YOOOOOO!!!

Now, the second night, April 28, I believe I would need a cheering up after a fairly dreary conversation with Adolf, so I would have to go with someone with whom I could have a good laugh. Now the typical choice for a good laugh would be Adam Sandler or Drew Barrymore, but I think that I would tire of the conversation too soon, so I would have to go with John Belushi. I was not old enough or even alive to truly appreciate him in his prime so I am not entirely sure I stand behind my choice whole-heartedly but I think that regardless I will do more laughing than eating and that is all I want.

For my third night I would like a relaxing evening where I don't need to do much, just sit, eat and have a good time. For this I would need to ask the company of an extremely good-looking woman who is not dim witted. The only woman who fits the description is Nelly Furtado. Hot and intelligent, a great combination.

As far as I am concerned my three choices fill the bill of the three main things that a man needs, a good argument, a good laugh, and a good woman.